Posts Tagged ‘child custody’

Avoiding Disaster: Divorce and Mortgages

Saturday, August 24th, 2019

Are you preparing for a divorce and have a mortgage on a home or other property?  Valuing these assets is fundamental in order to ensure that you receive a fair shake in severing your marriage.  What common issues need to be clear moving forward on a path to becoming single again? There are several, but the mortgage holder is almost always the key to knowing who should stay in the home and who goes.  Unless you want to be roommates with your ex for the foreseeable future, follow this advice.  

A retired Chancellor from Rankin County, Honorable John Grant, used to say repeatedly that “Two can live cheaper than one”. The reason that credit bureaus will ding your score for a divorce is quite clear:  unless your income increases substantially, a divorce will always negatively impact your overall financial health. When two people own a home in a community property state such as Mississippi, they have essentially formed a joint business venture.  When the home is mortgaged in both parties’ names, both incomes are considered by the bank in determining whether or not to grant the loan application and provide credit. They are not particularly keen on allowing an otherwise responsible obligor (or “customer” in bankspeak) off of the hook.  Why should they be? They have a responsibility to their shareholders to ensure investment in mortgage assets are repaid at as high a rate as possible.

Very many divorced people ask me after the fact why it is that they cannot repurchase another home.  Unfortunately they have almost always suffered from poor lawyering and improper preplanning for severing marital ties.  The gist of their now major disaster is that their attorney did not make adequate provision in the dissolution agreement for the marital home.  They simply stated that one party, we will just say the wife for example, keeps use and possession of the home. Frequently a wife with children will stay in the home if she can afford it.  So the story usually goes as follows…Husband is on the mortgage. Husband assumes that he is off the hook for liability with the bank. Husband applies for a loan, only to be rejected due to a poor-debt to income ratio.  This all could have been very easily avoided.

A simple provision that stated, for instance, “Wife agrees to obtain separate financing for the marital home within 60 days or to list the home for sale at or below current appraisal value” would have done the trick.  Sale price and who decides upon that price can also, and should be laid out clearly prior to divorce. It still amazes me that some lesser experienced lawyers get their clients stuck in a hellish quagmire such as this.  It can and should be avoided with some degree of foresight. Fixing this issue can cost far more than doing it correctly the first time around. I have seen people that have unfortunately spent fifty of more hours in attorney time to clean up this type of mess.  

In the end, be sure that your attorney has discussed with you the best path to rectify any outstanding financial obligations, especially your mortgage.  Ensure that no assumptions are made moving forward. Ask your lawyer every question related to protecting your future and that of your kids. And after the emotional haze of divorce clears, never forget that two really can live cheaper than one.


Matthew Poole is a Jackson, Ms custody and divorce lawyer and a 2015 and 2018 N.F.L.A. top ten domestic lawyer, 2019 Birdeye top family attorney, and 2003 finalist of the Steen Reynolds trial competition at the University of Mississippi School of Law.  He was a Second-Century Scholar at Millsaps College in 2001.

Advice to Women: How to Spot a Bad Dad

Thursday, August 22nd, 2019

One of the most powerful drivers of domestic litigation, mom filing suit against dad or vice-versa, is the desire by both parents to receive or avoid child support obligations.  The typical, let’s say father, will usually bend over backwards to avoid paying child-support, because it is a 21 year obligation not easily dispatched. Sometimes, and more often than not, these dads look for creative ways to thwart that obligation by seeking joint custody of their child.  Do they really want to spend close to half of the time with the little one? Doubtful, at best. Their answer? “I want joint custody”. For a seasoned lawyer, we all see through this veil of nonsense.  

It is clear that Mississippi law prefers parents to agree to custodial arrangements, in large part to take a hefty load off of the backs of our strained judicial system.  Although the consequence is not intentional, many domestic lawyers get paid large sums to fight for “joint” custody for a parent who simply wants to avoid child support obligations.  So, let’s explore the impact of one child on an average man’s balance sheet, monthly.  

Per capita income in Mississippi for a single man is about $33,000.  After mandatory deductions, that number shrinks to about approximately $26,600.  That is only a little over $2,200. per month. Now, if said average income man has a child and owes support, he will owe 14% of that $2,200 in support, or about $320 per month.  Ouch to him. This figure does not include extracurricular activities, day-care, or medical and dental costs. Kids are not, and never have been cheap. If you thought that having a dog was expensive, you were wrong.  

Why are so many men pushing the narrative of “joint” custody?  Are they really concerned about being heavily involved in their childrens’ lives?  Most often they are not, but there are the rare few great men who are not as concerned about paying child support as they are about being involved in child-rearing.  These men are uncommon, but they do exist. My experience allows me to spot the fake “great dads” rather quickly. It is always about the money for them, not concern for their children and their rearing.  

Standard visitation is almost always going to be par for the course.  Judges are not usually willing, absent unusual circumstances, to rule for joint physical custody of children, and the reason is patently clear.  Chancery court judges want finality, they do not want litigants coming back every time someone moves or changes school district. Who can blame them?  They seek an efficient system no more or less than anyone else would. Joint physical child custody is about as difficult to manage as two people sharing a car.  It doesn’t work, at least not well.  

My advice is simple.  If you are the more engaged, loving, capable parent, fight for your children.  Be there to raise them in your light. Do not be intimidated by threats of “joint custody”, it is often just a scheme to avoid child support.  Trust your God-given instincts. If he truly does care enough, joint physical custody is always a consideration. If he is looking to save a few bucks, fight at every corner for your little ones.  (Sorry guys, but this is the way it plays out 90+ percent of the time, and I am one of you). In the end, good will always defeat bad intention, but you have to muster the will to fight for what is right.


Matthew Poole is a 2015 and 2018 N.F.L.A. Mississippi top ten domestic attorney, 2019 Birdeye Top Mississippi Famliy Lawyer, and 2004 Steen Reynolds Trial Competition Finalist.  He lives in Northeast Jackson with his 9 year old son, Lucas.

Second and Third Marriages, an Uphill Battle

Friday, August 16th, 2019

It is relatively well-known that all time divorce rates (overall, not for a specific time period) generally hover around 40-45%.  National statistics indicate that 1st marriages have an all-time divorce rate of 42%, (and 49% in 2018). Second marriages have an overall divorce rate of 60%, and 3rd marriages’ rate of marital dissolution is a staggering 73% since the time this country began taking statistics in the mid 1920’s, and they are slowly creeping upward.  Why is it that subsequent marriages are so difficult, even more than the first? There are never simple answers, but there are several observations that may explain this trend.  

Behind every statistic is an underlying cause (or “root” cause as the older generation used to say), and usually the cause is multifaceted.  Not one single factor can be said to contribute to the phenomenon that first marriages are (believe it or not for those of you seeking divorce) more likely to succeed than a marriage after a divorce or multiple divorces.  The message I would like to convey to those of you seeking a divorce is best said by remembering the old saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”. 

My observation is simple….those who abruptly sever marital bonds are essentially more likely to fail for their inability to stand firm with the partner they chose in youth, therefore complicating their lives.  The complexity of any social interaction is a strong predictor of the likelihood of its failure. Simplicity is not always a bad thing, a concept that is often lost in an era when we seek the newest, most complex, difficult to engineer piece of smart device in our cars, homes, and lives.  We live in a society that prefers to throw the broken away and replace it rather than considering whether a fix is possible.

When I first began my legal career as an attorney in 2004, the head of my division told me on the first day, “Matthew, we follow the kiss method here, which means we keep it simple stupid”. Those words are not only important in litigation, they are tantamount to a lynchpin in marriage.  If you realize that life complexity will likely cause future dramatics, you have already made the first step to saving a broken marriage or making a good decision to re-marry. When people marry and have pre-existing legal obligations from a prior marriage such as child support, alimony, and visitation or custody issues in-tow, they have complicated their lives significantly with a remarriage.  Wiping the slate clean is seldom a possibility because our lives are complex, and so are our relationships.  

In sum, it appears to me that the more social issues one has to deal with, the more likelihood of divorce.  A system that has more moving parts has more parts that may break. Marriage is no different. I want to make very clear that there is always hope, but to any person considering a divorce, please know that it does not get easier the second time around.  If you do divorce and look to be remarried, consider all of the complexities you will both bring to your second or third marriage, lay them all out on the proverbial table with honesty, and have a simple, clear gameplan to deal with the challenges ahead.  It is very much an uphill battle, but it can be won. However, in the end, maybe simple really is better.

Matthew Poole is a Jackson, Mississippi Domestic Attorney and single father.  He was admitted to the Mississippi Bar in 2004.

The Zen of Marriage and Divorce?

Wednesday, August 14th, 2019

Years ago when I was in high school, the alternative rock band Bush had a song called “everything zen” that was popular amongst teens and twenty-somethings in an era dominated by the likes of Pearl Jam and Soundgarden.  Its seems like a million eons back to me at this point.  The song was my first introduction to the concept of zen, and I had absolutely no clue what in the world “zen” was.  After studying the zen philosophy and practicing divorce law for close to 2 decades, Bush had it right, everything is zen…even marriage and divorce.

If you want a quick description of my interpretation of zen, it is well summed with an acceptance of a concept embodied in a popular zen quote, which reads “the delusion of humanity is to believe that I am in here and you are out there”.  What is good for your spouse is most likely good for you and your children.  Your well being and their well being are actually, believe it or not, the same thing.  Marriages often fail because of the inability of one or both parties to recognize that their happiness is to the benefit of their spouse.  Many conceptual similarities are found in the reading of the Holy Bible.

This will be a short blog simply because it is confusing.  It requires some degree of taking everything you thought you knew and forgetting it all.  We are all selfish to some extent or another.  Letting go of that is the only thing that will make your marriage last. 

My advice to you if you are considering a divorce is to be the one who sees your equality in marriage.  If you let your guard down, take a leap of faith, remember the words spoken in your vows, you have done all you can and have earned a divorce.  You cannot control others, so start with YOU first.  In the words of Bush, everything is truly, well, zen.  If it does not work and divorce is inevitable, call or email us anytime.

Matthew Poole is a Jackson, Mississippi Domestic Lawyer and a Single Father

Divorce Quick Guide…..the “Cliff Notes”

Monday, July 22nd, 2019

Here is a quick guide as to divorce grounds in Mississippi……this list includes all recognized grounds and basic judicial interpretation of those reasons for legal rights to divorcing. Sometimes several are applicable to divorcing spouses.

FAULT-BASED GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE (Miss. Code Ann. 93-5-1)

Natural Impotency……..The Mississippi Supreme Court has held that divorce on this ground was not permitted where a woman’s physical condition made intercourse painful and where she pursued treatment. Sarphie v. Sarphie, 177 So. 358 (Miss. 1937

Adultery………Adultery is “voluntary sexual intercourse on the part of either spouse with a person other than his or her own spouse.” Owen v. Gerity, 422 So. 2d 284 (Miss. 1982). Adultery may be shown by circumstantial proof or a generally adulterous nature, combined with evidence of a reasonable opportunity to satisfy the infatuation of proclivity. McAdory v. McAdory, 608 So.2d 695 (Miss.1992). Direct evidence is not required. No need to have concrete proof!

Being sentenced to a penitentiary………..The statute was, several years ago, amended to read “sentenced to any penitentiary.”

Desertion….willful, continued, obstinate desertion for the marital space or domicile for a period of one year.

Constructive Desertion (as an option where physical desertion is not available)………Mississippi recognizes constructive desertion (where on spouse engages in conduct that forces the other to leave the marital home or renders the continuation of the marriage “unendurable”. (A subjective standard).

Refusal to have sexual relations (as a form of constructive desertion)…… This must be long-standing and without good cause, such as physical pain from intercourse.

Refusal to reconcile (as a form of constructive desertion and/or desertion).

Desertion may occur when on spouse leaves the marital home, then makes a good faith effort at reconciliation and the other spouse rejects the offer. Day v. Day. 501So.2d 353 (Miss. 1987).

Habitual drunkenness……..This one needs little explanation.

Habitual use of opium or “other like drug”….note that the Court of Appeals has broadened the definition of other “like” drugs. Marijuana is now considered a “like” drug by our courts due to the effects of its use.

Habitual cruel and inhuman treatment………The courts state that the cruelty required is not such as merely to render the marriage undesirable or unpleasant. Where both parties file on this ground, the chancellor must determine who is more at fault and grant the divorce to the other party. Hyer v. Hyer, 636 So.2d 381 (Miss. 1994).

Incurable Insanity at the time of the marriage, if the complainant was without knowledge of the insanity.

Marriage to some other person at the time of the purported marriage.

Pregnancy of the wife by another at the time of the marriage, without the husband’s knowledge.

Relation within the prohibited degrees of kindred, (a.k.a. incest).

Defenses to Divorce

Recrimination………Recrimination is the doctrine that if both spouses are guilty of fault, neither is entitled to divorce. Until 1964, this doctrine required that a Chancellor refuse to grant a divorce where both spouses were at fault. Miss. Code Ann 93-5-3 now provides that it is not mandatory that a Chancellor deny a divorce, even though the evidence may establish recrimination.

Insanity……..Insanity may be a defense to divorce based upon adultery, desertion, or cruelty.

Condonation……….Condonation is forgiveness of the marital fault by the wronged spouse, with the understanding that the conduct is not to recur. It is conditional, based upon the “good behavior” of the spouse at fault. If the conduct recurs, the defense is removed. Condonation may result from express forgiveness, or be implied from a resumption of the marital relationship after knowledge of the conduct.

Mere resumption of residence without resumption of sexual relations does not necessarily indicate condonation. Cherry v. Cherry, 593 So.2d 13 (Miss.1991).

Connivance………Connivance is one spouse’s implicit consent to the wrongful conduct of the other. The defense of connivance arises from the fault-based notion of a “wronged” spouse; if the innocent spouse did not object to the conduct, he or she has not been wronged. It typically applies to adultery claims.

Collusion……..Collusion occurs when the parties agree to frustrate the divorce procedure in some way, by creating grounds, or by agreeing not to defend a case, MS Code Ann 93-5-7 requires that for every divorce except those on the ground of irreconcilable differences, the parties must attach an affidavit stating that the action is not the basis of collusion.

Provocation……..This is a bar to divorce where the complainant provoked the conduct to the wrongdoing spouse most likely be used in response to a divorce action based upon desertion. This act allows a stay of proceeding for persons in the military and must be granted unless it can be shown that the applicant’s rights will not be materially affected by the proceeding.

Matthew Poole is a Jackson, MS family lawyer specializing in custody and custody modification matters. He was admitted to the Mississippi Bar in 2004.

Do This, Not That…Common Custody Mistakes

Thursday, July 18th, 2019

“Small minds discuss people. Average minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas”.

Eleanor Roosevelt

We receive about 4,500 phone calls a year, plus or minus. In 16 years of practice, my assistants and I have received prospective client intakes from more people than the population of a medium-sized city. Almost all of the calls have a common denominator; an inability to communicate with the “other” parent. It can be easily avoided…here is a basic blueprint. I hope it is helpful.

Every life struggle needs a hero. Why should it not be you? As a single parent, I have seen these challenges first hand. As a domestic lawyer, I have fought these battles for my clients just the same. So here are my thoughts and impressions about how to proceed when child custody is front and center in your life…and your kids’ lives even more importantly. So here is the entree’; what to do and what to avoid. If you follow this advice, parenting still won’t be easy, but life will be better for your children.

DO- Keep open communication with the other parent about childrens’ activities and progress.

DO NOT- Cut off your kids ability to talk to dad/mom or keep them in the dark. Children build self-esteem through belief that they have great parents…two of them.

DO- Remember that children are innocent.

DO NOT- Believe they understand adult problems, emotions, or opinions.

DO- Remember that your child is one-half of you, one-half of another.

DO NOT- Think that your child isn’t hurting because their other parent is not around…even if it is by their own bad choice.

DO- Realize that kids need love, even if the person loving them has serious flaws.

DO NOT- Require perfection from your ex…we all have flaws, but loving of our children is what matters most, your relationship may have been a simple moment in time, after all.

DO- Make sure to tell your kids that you love them, so does dad…or mom…and grandma.

DO NOT- Tell them that they were abandoned, that you are the hero, that you saved them from misery and suffering.

DO- Ask your children what they need from your ex, be it a new toy, a way to communicate, or a simple showing of affection.

DO NOT- Tell your children how you feel about the person who may have broken your heart, damaged your soul.

DO- Make sure your children enjoy being a child…it is a precious thing we all remember dearly.

DO NOT- Let them feel the real life burdens all adults feel every day.

Last thought…if all else fails, always take pride that you did your best and never gave up on the children brought into an imperfect, but beautiful world. Any judge will see you for your strengths first. That is the way it should be. In a custody battle, nice guys and gals finish first.

Matthew Poole is a Jackson, MS family lawyer specializing in custody and custody modification matters. He was admitted to the Mississippi Bar in 2004.

Necessary Divorce Documents—The Short List

Wednesday, July 10th, 2019

Some of these may not be applicable, and often are not depending on the specifics of your case. Many of these are also applicable to any custody matter whether ever married or not. Perusing this list will give you a good feel for the things that can rightfully impact the outcome of your domestic case. Better safe than sorry! (Make sure to run through this list with your attorney to determine whether these are needed in your case.) So here they are, in no particular order.

Business income tax returns for past three to five years (federal, state, and local)

Individual income tax returns for the past three to five years (federal, state, and local)

8.05 Financial Declaration

Proof of spouse’s current income (last pay stub- several would be even better)

Proof of your current income (last pay stub- several would be even better)

Bank statements

Loan Documents

Stock portfolios

Benefits statements

Health insurance policies

Real property appraisals

Prenuptial agreement

List of personal property and approximate value, including home furnishings, jewelry, artwork, computers, home office equipment, clothing and furs, etc.

List of property owned by each spouse prior to marriage and value

List of property acquired by each spouse individually by gift or inheritance during the marriage

List of contents of safety deposit boxes

Wills

Living wills

Powers of Attorney

Advance Health Care Directives

Personal property appraisals

Automobile insurance policies

Homeowner’s insurance policies

Life insurance policies

Employment contracts

Completed financial statements

Monthly budget worksheets

Other bills (e.g., school tuition, unreimbursed medical bills, music lessons for children, etc.)

Utility bills

Credit card statements (3 year minimum)

Property tax statements

Mortgages and property tax statements

Stock options

Trusts and declarations

Retirement account statements

Pension statements

Certificates of deposit and account numbers

Separation agreement(s)

Although this is not an exhaustive list, it illustrates the complexity of attempting to sever marital bonds and approximate a baseline for distributing marital assets. Every case has unique nuances, but starting here will give you and your attorney the ability to ensure you are not taken to the cleaner, so to speak. If you need assistance in formulating a pre-divorce plan, I have 16 years of experience and the tools to ensure you are treated fairly every step of the way.

Matthew Poole is a Jackson, Mississippi domestic lawyer who specializes in child custody and divorce, including modifications. He is a two-time recipient of the National Family Lawyer Top 10 Award and is an N.B.I. Certified Domestic Relations Instructor. He lives in Northeast Jackson with his 9 year old son, Lucas.

Grandparent Visitation…How to Get MORE

Friday, July 5th, 2019

Last summer, we wrote an article about how deployment in a military capacity is quite specifically addressed by our state laws. I am going to republish it in part (it has some minor redactions) below because it is very telling as to the affect of a parent being unavailable to exercise visitation under certain circumstances upon grandparent rights. After the bulk of this somewhat technical article, I will briefly discuss other parent unavailability issues, primarily incarceration of a parent. So, here we go……(this is long, but bear with me, it will be worth it!)

According to the Defense Manpower Data Center (under the Office of the Secretary of Defense), the United States currently has approximately 200,000 active-duty troops deployed across 170 countries.

The Uniform Deployed Parents Custody and Visitation Act (UDPCVA) was designed to resolve child custody and visitation issues that military families may face during a soldier’s deployment, temporary duty, or mobilization.

The UDPCVA is divided into five articles, with the first of these defining the foundational terms for the rest. Most importantly, Article 1 states that a parent’s “residence” is not changed during deployment and that deployment cannot be considered in deciding what is in “the best interest of the child.”

Article 2 discourages litigation on child custody and visitation issues by outlining procedural protections for simple agreements between parties.

This act also assists the UCCJEA* in preventing the issuance of competing orders via Article 3, which covers court procedures and includes the use of electronic testimony and the expedition of hearings.

In addition, this article allows for the designation of visitation rights to a nonparent where the court finds that doing so would be in the best interest of the child and Article 4 explains the termination process for these rights following deployment. Finally, Article 5 summarizes the information within each article.

Mississippi Code § 93-5-34 states that “Custody and visitation procedure upon parental temporary duty, deployment, or mobilization” follows the guideline provisions of the UDPCVA on these issues and answers my earlier hypothetical question regarding who would take care of the children similarly to Article 3. It states that “(4) If the parent with visitation rights receives military temporary duty, deployment or mobilization orders that involve moving a substantial distance from the parent’s residence or otherwise have a material effect on the parent’s ability to exercise rights, the court otherwise may delegate the parent’s visitation rights, or a portion thereof, to a family member with a close and substantial relationship to the service member’s minor child for the duration of the parent’s absence, if delegating visitation rights is in the child’s best interest.”

To answer the second question regarding the end of deployment, the same section of Mississippi Code contains a provision like Article 4 of the UDPCVA, stating that “(3) When a parent who has custody, or has joint custody with primary physical custody, receives temporary duty, deployment or mobilization orders from the military that involve moving a substantial distance from the parent’s residence having a material effect on the parent’s ability to exercise custody responsibilities:

(a) Any temporary custody order for the child during the parent’s absence shall end no later than ten (10) days after the parent returns, but shall not impair the discretion of the court to conduct a hearing for emergency custody upon return of the parent and within ten (10) days of the filing of a verified motion for emergency custody alleging an immediate danger of irreparable harm to the child; and

(b) The temporary duty, mobilization or deployment of the service member and the temporary disruption to the child’s schedule shall not be factors in a determination of change of circumstances if a motion is filed to transfer custody from the service member.

(c) Any order entered under this section shall require that:

(i) The non-deployed parent shall make the child or children reasonably available to the deployed parent when the latter parent has leave;

(ii) The non-deployed parent shall facilitate opportunities for telephonic, “webcam,” and electronic mail contact between the deployed parent and the child or children during deployment; and

(iii) The deployed parent shall provide timely information regarding the parent’s leave schedule.

Ok, so what effect would incarceration have on grandparent visitation in our state? What about if a parent or both are in a mental institution? What if they are, in a coma, God forbid? There is little case law wherein other unavailability issues have been hashed out by our appellate courts, although based on my experience courts are willing to bolster grandma and grandpa’s time for any of the above reasons even though no statute exists as it does for military deployments. My advice is to raise this issue with your attorney, it is a solid argument almost every time.

Matthew Poole is a Jackson, Mississippi Domestic Attorney with 16 years of trial experience. He will be speaking at the National Business Institute on July 18, 2019.

*For more information about this statute, go to our search bar on the home page of our site.

Parental Alienation…a Syndrome, or Plain Old Contempt?

Monday, July 1st, 2019

This question and conversation comes up quite frequently in domestic cases where parents simply cannot agree…on much of anything. Spending excessive legal fees and lost sleep simply may not be worth it if you plan on “firing the first shot”. The battle that ensues often exacerbates the problem, not curing it or the underlying issues…the “root cause”, as it were. Animosity, and expense (even the cheap lawyers are not cheap by most folk’s standards), grows the more DISagreeable you two are willing to be. In the end, some level of compromise is needed…by both …unless you are realllllllly wealthy, even if so I always prefer some level of agreeability, even if on some minor issues.

I would like to point out that there is a strong and decidedly clear legal distinction between what can and cannot be construed as a “syndrome”, and the advice I have may surprise you. Much relates to the simple mistake of overstating your case. Often the softer approach yields stronger benefits …in the long run at least. After 1,300 domestic cases I have learned that this matters from my own prior overzealousness, a mistake many rookie lawyers learn from, quickly.

The term syndrome has been intertwined with alienation of a parent, but there is likely a better way to advance your case without using medical and psychiatric terminology……that being reducing costs by playing the hand you are dealt in a more clever, less physiologically complex format. Syndromes are well defined and often hard to pinpoint (and prove)…..we will get to that later. What is easy to show is mom or dad disparaging the other to the little ones…regardless of the court ordered language (the judgment), it is always intrinsically terrible in the eyes of a Mississippi Chancery Judge without very good reason. Emphasis on VERY.

So here we are, on the life battlefield, somewhat even because of our own decision making flaws. The kids matter so much, we have to see that we are their only guide to a wonderful life, education, and happiness. It can be accomplished. With that said, let’s outline the next blog on this subject, which is slated for 3 weeks away, just after we finish our series on grandparent rights.

The long and short of it is simple …we will explore 2 courses of action and attempt to decipher which fits a particular pattern of facts best. One course requires a ton of medical testimony, the other most likely will not. We will examine what can be done preemptively to avoid the most expensive and stressful path. Stay tuned and we appreciate you very much.

I hope you will check back soon if these issues pertain to your difficult situation…..I can shed a little light, hopefully more. I will start by charting a relatively simple path toward resolution that will not break the bank. A little information is never a bad place to begin any challenge, and God bless our children.

Matthew is a 16 year practitioner of domestic law. He is a single father and is passionate about the role parents play in their children’s outcomes. He speaks at National Business Institute on July 18.

New Custody Rules…And Similar Advice

Wednesday, May 8th, 2019

Child custody cases are never easy. Oftentimes they require a year or more of litigation and many, many thousands of dollars. There have been several recent developments in Mississippi law that will affect each and every child custody case in this state, some are meaningful and will make a major impact, others will not. Custody matters are never straightforward and and those who believe they are simple likely need a straight-jacket and some serious psycho-therapy. And this is the reality when child custody is front and center in your life.

Easy advice is not readily available for those who are seeking simple solutions. There are a few recent changes to both statute and common law that will impact any child custody case in our state, although they rarely make outcomes differ. The basic paradigm is still in place…the best interests of the children will always be paramount. We have a piece of advice that is entirely obvious and commonly ignored…follow the existing court order precisely, do all you can for your kids, and never, ever fail to exercise visitation when it is availed to you. Be as involved with the kids as possible, help with homework, and do not let a new romantic relationship impact your little ones in a negative manner.

Chancery court is the sole arbiter of who wins child custody. Chancellors are the ultimate guardians of all children in their respective jurisdictions. Even though finances are of concern as well in every divorce, the clients we have the most compassion for are those who will fight to have their kids with them as much as possible. As a single dad, I share their raw emotion. It makes the job all the better to represent like minds.

Some recent legal changes that impact custody cases in our state include changes to the alimony laws which now present previously unforeseen obstacles, the judicial decision that marijuana use is a ground for divorce under the existing statutes and now considered tantamount to opiate use, and that habitual cruelty is now more easy to prove and encompasses more bad conduct as grounds for divorce. Child custody law has also been affected by these changes to cases that also apply to childless divorces. I want to be clear that all legal decisions regarding child placement are highly subjective and dependant on a myriad of factors.

Based on existing law and the subtle changes to Mississippi custody and divorce law, I have a few simple observations and a small piece of advice. My previous article the pointed to the absolute importance of continuing care of your child is a must-read. I also would like to point to the importance of moral fitness in any custody matter. Although it is often said that only God can judge, try telling that to your local chancery judge.

Law has and always will change. Your custody case will also have a changing life of its own. Being a little behind on your child support and then asking for a modification of custody as a defense is a very precarious scenario for any litigant. Never forget that one must possess “clean hands” in order to ask to court to intervene in their domestic case. At the end of the day, two wrongs never equal a right. That never needs to be forgotten.

Matthew Poole is a Jackson, Mississippi Family Lawyer with 15 years of trial experience. He lives in Northeast Jackson with his 9 year old son, Lucas.