Mississippi Divorce Attorney Suggests Prioritizing Parenting over Popularity

Every parent wants their kids to like them, and, despite any remarks to the contrary, the kids already do. Even better, kids love both of their parents for that very reason – they are their parents. While providing the everyday love, care, and attention that your kids need may not seem like something special to you, it is to your kids.

Some parents do not realize that the ordinary, everyday interactions with their children are what keep their children so closely bonded with them. These parents may believe that they have to “do something” to earn the love of their little ones, like constantly entertaining them or planning weekends that are jam-packed full of fun activities. When parents divorce, even if they did not previously subscribe to the notion that they had to go above and beyond everyday parenting to ensure that their kids would continue to love them, they may begin to do so after the split

Fortunately, parenting is not a popularity contest. The sooner parents realize this, the better, especially in families where the parents are divorced or divorcing. In fact, when one or both parents focus on being popular with the kids, the whole family suffers. Parents lose their parental authority when they avoid saying “no” or other things that they fear would make them unpopular with their kids. Kids lose when they have one or more parents who are more concerned with being liked than they are with setting consistent rules and boundaries that the kids can rely on.

In families where the parents are divorced or divorcing, there is also a danger that parents searching for popularity can do even more damage. If a parent, in his or her quest to be popular with the kids, tries to get them to dislike or disregard their other parents, there will be trouble. Kids who encounter this behavior are likely to feel confused, because they may feel like it is not okay for them to love both parents equally and they don’t want to choose sides. Even worse, they may feel like they cannot ask for help with the confusion that they are experiencing because that would mean talking to the parent who is trying to turn them against their other parent and expressing their love for their other parent and their discomfort with being asked to take sides.

If you are divorced or divorcing, remember that everyday acts of parenting create strong bonds between you and your children, bonds that are not threatened by their strong connection to their other parent. If you take things a step further and make it clear that you support your kids in having a strong relationship with their other parent, they will be positively influenced by the example that you have set. When you make parenting decisions that your kids don’t like, such as remaining firm on a boundary that you have set, you may not feel popular, but you can rest assured that you are giving them something that they need in order to grow into emotionally healthy individuals.

Divorce can be difficult for parents, but when parents approach divorce with the needs of the entire family in mind, there is a great potential for positive results. A Mississippi Family Law Attorney can provide you with the help and support that you need throughout the divorce process. To learn more, please call Mississippi Divorce Attorney Matthew S. Poole today, at (601) 573-7429.

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Mississippi Divorce Attorney Suggests Prioritizing Parenting over Popularity
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Mississippi Divorce Attorney discusses ways to parent without the need to be popular.

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