DIVORCE RATES DIVING?

I know what you are thinking, and I can already say that this trend occurs likely not for the reasons you may imagine. Unless you are a sociologist or simply very in-tune with social trends, it may surprise you that the real reasons, or at least the primary drivers of this trend, are not so obvious until we look at ourselves, our friends, and our families.

So many of the younger generation suffered through their parents’ divorces. They witnessed first-hand the turmoil and confusion that impacts everyone involved. They were often more victimized by their parents’ tit-for-tat than the parents themselves. Divorce is significantly stressful for kids. They become front and center in the turmoil. It should come as no surprise that they are more apt to wait before tying the knot. We certainly cannot blame them.

There is also a second driver of divorce rates diving. Millenials are not as financially well-off as their parents were at the same age. Although incomes may be similar (adjusted for inflation), costs of living are much higher. They are purchasing homes much later, have less money in the bank, and upward trending daily expenses. When you hear about inflation in our country hovering between 2 and 3 percent, ask yourself if things you buy on a daily basis (consumer goods) do not seem to have skyrocketed in price in the past decade. It sure feels that way to me.

Another factor lesser discussed has driven the divorce rate down. Here it is: People simply aren’t getting married at the rate they did in the past. I ran a simple Google search of “marriage and divorce rates U.S.”, and the results were surprisingly dramatic. If you click on “images” at the top results bar, you can visualize the strong trend in several telling graphs and charts. It seems to me that after World War II, young men returning home in droves altered our societal landscape. They were eager to start lives and have families. Their children were generally born in the mid 1950’s until the early 1970’s. Those former children are now in their fifties and even late sixties. Time sure does fly. Many (most) of you reading this are their kids. Theirs was a great generation in a very different time.

I also see the impact of social media, a term unknown to our dad, mom, aunts and uncles. They did not know that it would ever dominate our society the way it does today. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and so many others consume our daily lives. I believe they are great tools when used for the right reasons, but our communication with others we hardly know can also interfere with our most personal relationships.

We, as a country, have pushed the limits of change in so many ways. Time spent with family is too easily frittered away. Bank accounts are stretched to their limits. Daily pressures are at an all time high, and memories of being a child trapped in the eye of a stormy divorce still linger.

In the end, the best ways to avoid a divorce are more obvious than you realize. Sometimes we simply need to be reminded of what we already know.

Matthew Poole is a single father and Jackson, Mississippi Family Attorney. He was admitted to practice in 2004.

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