Archive for the ‘Merry Christmas To Everyone…Especially Our Children’ Category

Merry Christmas To Everyone…Especially Our Children

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

My name is Michael Louvier, Law Clerk to Matthew Poole, Esq. At this time of the year, it seems appropriate to reflect on the past year, look forward to the New Year to come, 2019, and to be thankful for what we have today. I thank God everyday for my family, with whom He blesses me every day of my life. I thank God for the unconditional love that my wife and two children and I have for each other. I’m thankful for my parents, who have been married for 62 years, and who set the bar very high for my three siblings and I as parents and grandparents. I thank God for my sister and two brothers, all older than me, and all wiser, as it should be. Especially during this time of the year, when we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, I thank God for the blessing of the multitude of children that He has brought into mine and my wife’s lives. So many children in our 32 years together, 28 years married and 25 years as parents. Nephew, nieces, and hundreds of children have enriched us as a family. They have all made us laugh, cry, celebrate, rejoice and pray, and our lives are much more complete knowing each child. We love them all and say those exact words to them anytime we can. Many are “all-grown-up” adults now, off of dad’s payroll, as it were. And some of these children are having children of their own. We are so proud to be invited to the Baptisms, birthday parties… I could go on and on and on, suffice it to say that my wife and I love children, all of them. And from that love came this article, to-wit

At this time of year it is also appropriate to try to keep the wants, needs and wishes of others in mind, especially our children. Gifts under the tree and good food, desserts and cider are always a wonderful way to spend Christmas. Gift giving, mistletoe and the like aside, making the Holiday Season better for you and yours is always a complicated matter. And so, regardless of your marital situation: married, separated, divorced, re-married, single parent…it really doesn’t matter. If you want to make this Season better for your family and your children more enjoyable and less stressful, I urge you to consider the following:

Whenever you are enjoying time with your family, especially your children, you should always be mindful of your alcohol consumption. If you are an everyday drinker, slow it down. No need to show everyone how much you can drink, it’s not a contest that you want to win anyway. If you are a social drinker, then be more social than drinker. If you rarely drink alcohol and the egg-nog is exceptional, then make sure you don’t overdo it. In short: Be responsible for yourself and be nice. It’s the Holiday Season so Be Sober and Be Nice.

For the split and co-mingled families that live apart and geography and logistics become a variable in this issue – one word of advice: COMMUNICATE. Without communication with your ex (or his mom or the new husband or his 19-year-old daughter, etc., this will be a problem. The more children involved the more difficult the logistics become and; therefore, the more vital COMMUNICATION becomes. Whomever you must coordinate with to make this a less than impossible task, make all plan for exchanges and travel and meeting places early. Attempt to agree on a “half-way point” that is well lit, has a bathroom and some refreshments and maybe even good food. Schedule an agreed to best time and place and stick to it. If you haven’t yet done this part and you are reading this, then you should be searching for the contact in your phone right now. And when you get them on the line, tell them to pull up this site and read this blog. (Do this now!) Travel for this purpose is stressful, potentially dangerous according to weather and other conditions, and potentially expensive. Remember to have the car gassed up and ready to go. Minimize the stress by being the clear voice of reason in the communication. Drive carefully always. If it’s an extended drive, make the ride more comfortable with pillows and blankets and a cooler of water and maybe some snacks and sandwiches. Don’t be in too much of a hurry, as accidents will never get you there sooner. Don’t allow your emotions and the overall vitriol for the “other family” to dictate the plan. Most of all remember that it’s all about the kids, not you. Let me repeat that: this whole plan is about your children, and not about you. Be Flexible, Be the adult….Be Nice.

School is out for everyone, and that is sometimes good news for the kids and the teachers (I thank God for our educators, too!), but not good news for working parents. During your extended Holiday visitation period, your child might have a friend that has some free time. Within your limits when factoring the job restraints, the financial realities and the geographical issues, you may want to ask your child if he would care to include a friend or two in some of your plans. And don’t simply pick them up and go back to your place for some riveting television watching. Go somewhere! Do things! Go to the mall, the movie, museum, Chinese buffet, burger joint, ice-cream shoppe. You get it? Good, now do it! No matter where you live, there is always something to do in your area that is fun and exciting and sometimes even free. If all else fails, order a pizza and rent a good movie. Just don’t be a dud, Dad.

There is a growing debate about limiting access to social media during visits. There is no easy answer except to suggest that your child should feel comfortable to be online, but that she, too, should be aware of your time and your plans, etc. Just because I suggest that it’s all about them is not to be misinterpreted as it’s ALL about them. Kids used to have to drive away in a car to be miles away from you, now they can be sitting next to you on the couch, iphone in hand, and be on a completely different planet than you. By the same token, they can be hundreds of miles away from you and you can be talking to each other as if you were in the same room. Use this Holiday time as an opportunity to enhance your relationship and let social media assist you instead of letting it be a point of contention.

Our previous blog entry “Are you smarter than a 5th grader” could suggest that the higher the grade your child is in, the least likely you are to have any clue about the math and foreign language and almost all other subjects that they take. Get involved in your child’s everyday academic life before they understand how much of it that you don’t understand. Ask your student to share their required reading with you (now you have something to read, mom!) and this will immediately become a topic of conversation between the two of you.

My point in this article is clear: Be good to your children, especially in this Holiday Season. This is the time of year that we celebrate the birth of our Savior, the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

My prayer: Thank You, Lord, for blessing us with these many children in our lives. Let all those parents and others that read this article to gain some guidance from You, humbly, through me. Amen.


Michael Louvier, B.A. (University of New Orleans), J.D. (Mississippi College School of Law) is the primary clerk to Attorney Matthew Poole. He has two decades of legal experience and is the father of three.