Archive for August, 2019

DIVORCE RATES DIVING?

Saturday, August 31st, 2019

I know what you are thinking, and I can already say that this trend occurs likely not for the reasons you may imagine. Unless you are a sociologist or simply very in-tune with social trends, it may surprise you that the real reasons, or at least the primary drivers of this trend, are not so obvious until we look at ourselves, our friends, and our families.

So many of the younger generation suffered through their parents’ divorces. They witnessed first-hand the turmoil and confusion that impacts everyone involved. They were often more victimized by their parents’ tit-for-tat than the parents themselves. Divorce is significantly stressful for kids. They become front and center in the turmoil. It should come as no surprise that they are more apt to wait before tying the knot. We certainly cannot blame them.

There is also a second driver of divorce rates diving. Millenials are not as financially well-off as their parents were at the same age. Although incomes may be similar (adjusted for inflation), costs of living are much higher. They are purchasing homes much later, have less money in the bank, and upward trending daily expenses. When you hear about inflation in our country hovering between 2 and 3 percent, ask yourself if things you buy on a daily basis (consumer goods) do not seem to have skyrocketed in price in the past decade. It sure feels that way to me.

Another factor lesser discussed has driven the divorce rate down. Here it is: People simply aren’t getting married at the rate they did in the past. I ran a simple Google search of “marriage and divorce rates U.S.”, and the results were surprisingly dramatic. If you click on “images” at the top results bar, you can visualize the strong trend in several telling graphs and charts. It seems to me that after World War II, young men returning home in droves altered our societal landscape. They were eager to start lives and have families. Their children were generally born in the mid 1950’s until the early 1970’s. Those former children are now in their fifties and even late sixties. Time sure does fly. Many (most) of you reading this are their kids. Theirs was a great generation in a very different time.

I also see the impact of social media, a term unknown to our dad, mom, aunts and uncles. They did not know that it would ever dominate our society the way it does today. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and so many others consume our daily lives. I believe they are great tools when used for the right reasons, but our communication with others we hardly know can also interfere with our most personal relationships.

We, as a country, have pushed the limits of change in so many ways. Time spent with family is too easily frittered away. Bank accounts are stretched to their limits. Daily pressures are at an all time high, and memories of being a child trapped in the eye of a stormy divorce still linger.

In the end, the best ways to avoid a divorce are more obvious than you realize. Sometimes we simply need to be reminded of what we already know.

Matthew Poole is a single father and Jackson, Mississippi Family Attorney. He was admitted to practice in 2004.

LAW OFFICE OF MATTHEW POOLE Cost Guide

Saturday, August 31st, 2019

Finalist, Steen Reynolds Trial Competition, University of Mississippi School of Law 2003,
N.B.I. Certified Divorce Instructor, 2014, 2018 Mississippi Top Ten Family Lawyer, N.A.F.L.

2019, 2020 Cost Guide (Including Discounts)
*Please Attempt To Find Agreement if Possible in Order to Significantly Reduce Costs

*Prices May be Slightly Higher if Outside of the Jackson, MS Metropolitan Area

No-Fault Divorce/Agreed Paternity and Visitation Matters (ALL terms must be agreed upon for the following No-Faults/Agreed Matters) All Are Flat Fees…Please Note that a FULL Agreement is Required. Modifying Terms After Agreement Will Likely Result in Additional Fees at an Hourly Rate of $250.

Without Children, No Property- $750.

With Children, No Property- $875.

With Property, No Children- $850.

With Children AND Property- $975.

Agreed Paternity and Custody/Visitation- $875.

Contested and Fault Based Matters
(no agreement)

Divorce with Custody Features- $4,500. (retainer)
@ $260/hr.

Divorce without Custody Features- $4,000.
(retainer) @ $225/hr.

High Asset Divorce, with or without Custody
Features (Over $250,000 combined net worth)
$7,500 (retainer) @ $260/hr.

Custody (or Paternity and Custody)- $4,500.
(retainer) @ $260/hr.

Paternity and Visitation, No Custody Issues
$3,500 flat fee

Custody Modification, with or without Contempt
$5,000 (retainer) @ $275/hr.

Emergency Custody Matters $5,000 (retainer)
@$275/hr.

Contempt Only, No Custody Issues $4,000.
(retainer) @ $260/hr.

Adoption/Parental Right Termination. $7,500.
(retainer) @ $275/hr.

Miscellaneous

Prenuptial or Postnuptial Agreements $1,200,
maximum of 5 hours ($250/hr. thereafter)

Document Review Without In Office Consult
$375, 1.5 hour maximum

File/Document Review and Assessments $750
flat fee, (Includes One Hour In-Office Consult
if Required)

In Office Consults $375 flat fee, one hour limit

Discounts (Subject to change)

First Response Personnel, Hospital Workers,
Teachers, School Administrators, Government
Workers, Church Employees. 7.5%

Active Duty Military, Veterans, Disabled. 10%

Thank you for choosing us to assist you through this difficult time.

–Matthew

Avoiding Disaster: Divorce and Mortgages

Saturday, August 24th, 2019

Are you preparing for a divorce and have a mortgage on a home or other property?  Valuing these assets is fundamental in order to ensure that you receive a fair shake in severing your marriage.  What common issues need to be clear moving forward on a path to becoming single again? There are several, but the mortgage holder is almost always the key to knowing who should stay in the home and who goes.  Unless you want to be roommates with your ex for the foreseeable future, follow this advice.  

A retired Chancellor from Rankin County, Honorable John Grant, used to say repeatedly that “Two can live cheaper than one”. The reason that credit bureaus will ding your score for a divorce is quite clear:  unless your income increases substantially, a divorce will always negatively impact your overall financial health. When two people own a home in a community property state such as Mississippi, they have essentially formed a joint business venture.  When the home is mortgaged in both parties’ names, both incomes are considered by the bank in determining whether or not to grant the loan application and provide credit. They are not particularly keen on allowing an otherwise responsible obligor (or “customer” in bankspeak) off of the hook.  Why should they be? They have a responsibility to their shareholders to ensure investment in mortgage assets are repaid at as high a rate as possible.

Very many divorced people ask me after the fact why it is that they cannot repurchase another home.  Unfortunately they have almost always suffered from poor lawyering and improper preplanning for severing marital ties.  The gist of their now major disaster is that their attorney did not make adequate provision in the dissolution agreement for the marital home.  They simply stated that one party, we will just say the wife for example, keeps use and possession of the home. Frequently a wife with children will stay in the home if she can afford it.  So the story usually goes as follows…Husband is on the mortgage. Husband assumes that he is off the hook for liability with the bank. Husband applies for a loan, only to be rejected due to a poor-debt to income ratio.  This all could have been very easily avoided.

A simple provision that stated, for instance, “Wife agrees to obtain separate financing for the marital home within 60 days or to list the home for sale at or below current appraisal value” would have done the trick.  Sale price and who decides upon that price can also, and should be laid out clearly prior to divorce. It still amazes me that some lesser experienced lawyers get their clients stuck in a hellish quagmire such as this.  It can and should be avoided with some degree of foresight. Fixing this issue can cost far more than doing it correctly the first time around. I have seen people that have unfortunately spent fifty of more hours in attorney time to clean up this type of mess.  

In the end, be sure that your attorney has discussed with you the best path to rectify any outstanding financial obligations, especially your mortgage.  Ensure that no assumptions are made moving forward. Ask your lawyer every question related to protecting your future and that of your kids. And after the emotional haze of divorce clears, never forget that two really can live cheaper than one.


Matthew Poole is a Jackson, Ms custody and divorce lawyer and a 2015 and 2018 N.F.L.A. top ten domestic lawyer, 2019 Birdeye top family attorney, and 2003 finalist of the Steen Reynolds trial competition at the University of Mississippi School of Law.  He was a Second-Century Scholar at Millsaps College in 2001.

Advice to Women: How to Spot a Bad Dad

Thursday, August 22nd, 2019

One of the most powerful drivers of domestic litigation, mom filing suit against dad or vice-versa, is the desire by both parents to receive or avoid child support obligations.  The typical, let’s say father, will usually bend over backwards to avoid paying child-support, because it is a 21 year obligation not easily dispatched. Sometimes, and more often than not, these dads look for creative ways to thwart that obligation by seeking joint custody of their child.  Do they really want to spend close to half of the time with the little one? Doubtful, at best. Their answer? “I want joint custody”. For a seasoned lawyer, we all see through this veil of nonsense.  

It is clear that Mississippi law prefers parents to agree to custodial arrangements, in large part to take a hefty load off of the backs of our strained judicial system.  Although the consequence is not intentional, many domestic lawyers get paid large sums to fight for “joint” custody for a parent who simply wants to avoid child support obligations.  So, let’s explore the impact of one child on an average man’s balance sheet, monthly.  

Per capita income in Mississippi for a single man is about $33,000.  After mandatory deductions, that number shrinks to about approximately $26,600.  That is only a little over $2,200. per month. Now, if said average income man has a child and owes support, he will owe 14% of that $2,200 in support, or about $320 per month.  Ouch to him. This figure does not include extracurricular activities, day-care, or medical and dental costs. Kids are not, and never have been cheap. If you thought that having a dog was expensive, you were wrong.  

Why are so many men pushing the narrative of “joint” custody?  Are they really concerned about being heavily involved in their childrens’ lives?  Most often they are not, but there are the rare few great men who are not as concerned about paying child support as they are about being involved in child-rearing.  These men are uncommon, but they do exist. My experience allows me to spot the fake “great dads” rather quickly. It is always about the money for them, not concern for their children and their rearing.  

Standard visitation is almost always going to be par for the course.  Judges are not usually willing, absent unusual circumstances, to rule for joint physical custody of children, and the reason is patently clear.  Chancery court judges want finality, they do not want litigants coming back every time someone moves or changes school district. Who can blame them?  They seek an efficient system no more or less than anyone else would. Joint physical child custody is about as difficult to manage as two people sharing a car.  It doesn’t work, at least not well.  

My advice is simple.  If you are the more engaged, loving, capable parent, fight for your children.  Be there to raise them in your light. Do not be intimidated by threats of “joint custody”, it is often just a scheme to avoid child support.  Trust your God-given instincts. If he truly does care enough, joint physical custody is always a consideration. If he is looking to save a few bucks, fight at every corner for your little ones.  (Sorry guys, but this is the way it plays out 90+ percent of the time, and I am one of you). In the end, good will always defeat bad intention, but you have to muster the will to fight for what is right.


Matthew Poole is a 2015 and 2018 N.F.L.A. Mississippi top ten domestic attorney, 2019 Birdeye Top Mississippi Famliy Lawyer, and 2004 Steen Reynolds Trial Competition Finalist.  He lives in Northeast Jackson with his 9 year old son, Lucas.

Second and Third Marriages, an Uphill Battle

Friday, August 16th, 2019

It is relatively well-known that all time divorce rates (overall, not for a specific time period) generally hover around 40-45%.  National statistics indicate that 1st marriages have an all-time divorce rate of 42%, (and 49% in 2018). Second marriages have an overall divorce rate of 60%, and 3rd marriages’ rate of marital dissolution is a staggering 73% since the time this country began taking statistics in the mid 1920’s, and they are slowly creeping upward.  Why is it that subsequent marriages are so difficult, even more than the first? There are never simple answers, but there are several observations that may explain this trend.  

Behind every statistic is an underlying cause (or “root” cause as the older generation used to say), and usually the cause is multifaceted.  Not one single factor can be said to contribute to the phenomenon that first marriages are (believe it or not for those of you seeking divorce) more likely to succeed than a marriage after a divorce or multiple divorces.  The message I would like to convey to those of you seeking a divorce is best said by remembering the old saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”. 

My observation is simple….those who abruptly sever marital bonds are essentially more likely to fail for their inability to stand firm with the partner they chose in youth, therefore complicating their lives.  The complexity of any social interaction is a strong predictor of the likelihood of its failure. Simplicity is not always a bad thing, a concept that is often lost in an era when we seek the newest, most complex, difficult to engineer piece of smart device in our cars, homes, and lives.  We live in a society that prefers to throw the broken away and replace it rather than considering whether a fix is possible.

When I first began my legal career as an attorney in 2004, the head of my division told me on the first day, “Matthew, we follow the kiss method here, which means we keep it simple stupid”. Those words are not only important in litigation, they are tantamount to a lynchpin in marriage.  If you realize that life complexity will likely cause future dramatics, you have already made the first step to saving a broken marriage or making a good decision to re-marry. When people marry and have pre-existing legal obligations from a prior marriage such as child support, alimony, and visitation or custody issues in-tow, they have complicated their lives significantly with a remarriage.  Wiping the slate clean is seldom a possibility because our lives are complex, and so are our relationships.  

In sum, it appears to me that the more social issues one has to deal with, the more likelihood of divorce.  A system that has more moving parts has more parts that may break. Marriage is no different. I want to make very clear that there is always hope, but to any person considering a divorce, please know that it does not get easier the second time around.  If you do divorce and look to be remarried, consider all of the complexities you will both bring to your second or third marriage, lay them all out on the proverbial table with honesty, and have a simple, clear gameplan to deal with the challenges ahead.  It is very much an uphill battle, but it can be won. However, in the end, maybe simple really is better.

Matthew Poole is a Jackson, Mississippi Domestic Attorney and single father.  He was admitted to the Mississippi Bar in 2004.

The Zen of Marriage and Divorce?

Wednesday, August 14th, 2019

Years ago when I was in high school, the alternative rock band Bush had a song called “everything zen” that was popular amongst teens and twenty-somethings in an era dominated by the likes of Pearl Jam and Soundgarden.  Its seems like a million eons back to me at this point.  The song was my first introduction to the concept of zen, and I had absolutely no clue what in the world “zen” was.  After studying the zen philosophy and practicing divorce law for close to 2 decades, Bush had it right, everything is zen…even marriage and divorce.

If you want a quick description of my interpretation of zen, it is well summed with an acceptance of a concept embodied in a popular zen quote, which reads “the delusion of humanity is to believe that I am in here and you are out there”.  What is good for your spouse is most likely good for you and your children.  Your well being and their well being are actually, believe it or not, the same thing.  Marriages often fail because of the inability of one or both parties to recognize that their happiness is to the benefit of their spouse.  Many conceptual similarities are found in the reading of the Holy Bible.

This will be a short blog simply because it is confusing.  It requires some degree of taking everything you thought you knew and forgetting it all.  We are all selfish to some extent or another.  Letting go of that is the only thing that will make your marriage last. 

My advice to you if you are considering a divorce is to be the one who sees your equality in marriage.  If you let your guard down, take a leap of faith, remember the words spoken in your vows, you have done all you can and have earned a divorce.  You cannot control others, so start with YOU first.  In the words of Bush, everything is truly, well, zen.  If it does not work and divorce is inevitable, call or email us anytime.

Matthew Poole is a Jackson, Mississippi Domestic Lawyer and a Single Father